Friday, May 29, 2009

Joaquin Phoenix

Ok – so perhaps I have been a little bias in the pictures I have chosen for my ‘with’ and ‘without’ beard pictures. I will concede this – but as in any form of research or documentary aren’t you going to go with the information that bests support your point of view?
But in the name of balance I will present an exhibit of a man who, dare I say it, is not better with a beard. Whooo, that hurt.

Oh, Joaquin. We are waiting for the all mighty reveal. You know, when you say to us “Gotcha! Haven’t really gone insane. Was just all a big joke”. And we can breathe a sigh of relief because “Hehe…we knew all along that you were joking but there was just that teeny bit doubt in our minds when we thought that maybe you were crazy for reals. That was a good one, Joe”
But maybe the reveal isn’t coming? Maybe, Joaquin, you are going to be doing this for your whole life:
rather than being the sad-eyed-kind-of-weird-looking-yet-hot guy that we had grown to love?

Maybe if you just, oh I don’t know, brushed your hair and had a shower you might look better with a beard. But most certainly not that one. I would suggest something that makes you look a little less....homeless. Please?

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Eric Bana

Poida, your beard is noice!

I have seen Eric Bana in real life with my own eyes twice. The first time was when he was a stand up comedian. He was supporting Jimeoin about 100 years ago. The other time was a couple of years ago and he was having a coffee at a pretty average café in Melbourne. There I was getting my morning caffeine fix and who should be there but The Incredible Hunk himself! That was exciting.

He is kind of a big deal these days and I think “Good on you, Eric” and then I think “Wow, your name is Eric. Eric. Eric. Just doesn’t seem to strike as the name of a big time movie star” and then I go on to think that it’s amazing that Bob Marley’s name is Bob and Bob Hawke’s name is Bob and isn’t weird that two men who are so different have the same first name? And then that’s me gone for the day, usually.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Javier Bardem

I do believe that we have a very fine example of SSH (Smouldering Spanish Handsomeness) right here with Javier Bardem. He's properly handsome, isn't he? Like man-handsome. Big hands man-handsome. I wonder if that's his nickname?

"Hey, isn't that Big Hands Man-Handsome! Duuuude!"
Seems a little clunky for a nickname I guess.

I was very tempted to compare the man-handsome bearded Javier with this one:


But I didn't want to compromise my research by cheating.

Paul Rudd

Paul Rudd, I have to ask. Are you the perfect man?
You have been involved in so many movies that have given me a comedy heart-attacks. You know when you clutch your chest and your eyes water and you can't breathe because you are laughing so hard? Yeah? Well that's a comedy heart-attack.
Anyway, Paul Rudd (don't tell Johnny Depp) but I think I may be in love with you. You sure are funny and you seem clever in interviews and there is no doubt that you give good beard. So how about it? Maybe just leave the Sex Panther at home.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Martin Henderson

Martin Henderson is a slow burn.
He’s one of those guys that you can’t really say where you know him from. Could it be from one of the great Aussie dramas of our time “Echo Point”? Could it be from the other great Aussie drama of our time “Big Sky”? Maybe.
Or perhaps it’s from that awesome motorbike movie “Torque” or from his awesome motorbike riding in Britney’s “Toxic” video.
Maybe you recognise him from “The Ring”? But please don’t make me talk about that movie because otherwise I will have bad dreams.
What I will talk about is how I saw him earlier this year playing Brick Pollitt in “Cat on a hot tin roof”. And how I was in the front row. And how for the first 30 or so minutes of the play he was only wearing a towel. Yes. Better dreams now.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Add to Technorati Favorites
Technorati Profile

Ewan McGregor

I like this Ewan McGregor person. He's a good one isn't he? He's done so many interesting things.

He has sung Elton John to the Devil's Eyebrow (aka Nicole Kidman), dropped his pants, made some TV shows about riding around the place on a motorbike with his friend Charlie, has been Obi-Wan and he has dropped his pants.
I had to say that twice because he has dropped his pants rather a lot.

He also has that lovely ginger-ish tinge that the fair-heads get when they grow a beard which I find quite amusing. I also enjoy watching him being interviewed when he's beardy because he does that "stroking-of-beard-when-thinking" so well.

Nice work, Ewan. It's been a pleasure Bwab-ing you.

Robert Downey Jnr

Robert Downey Jnr was a suggestion from Camilla, I believe. Thank you Camilla, I enjoyed this one immensely.
I forgot how much I actually fancied RDJ. Then a painful memory that I had suppressed resurfaced - watching "Less than Zero" as a young girl on VHS with my mum. I was quite a naive child. I didn't exactly know what RJD was doing to that man at that party so I asked. Uncomfortable much!?
Anyhoo RJD is handsome and seems insane. Two of my favourite attributes! Didn't someone find him in their house when he was on drugs? That would be quite a find!
I think RDJ is better with a beard, I particularly like the grey bits. You might be looking at the 3rd pic and be thinking wha? I just had to put Jeffrey Dean Morgan side by side with Bob just to show how similar they are. Aren't they? They even have three bits to their names. And also he's hot. It is a bit ridiculous that he is supposed to be old enough to have fathered BWAB no. 12 in Supernatural - that's JDM not RDJ.
But anyway this is "Better with a Beard" not "Actors who look like other actors".

Pat Rafter

Pat Rafter seems like a nice guy doesn’t he? So much better than that Lady Hewitt. Not even a beard can save that boy! But we are not here to talk about him. Not ever. You hear me!
Sorry. Back to Pat.
I always think that Pat Rafter and Sarah Murdoch are married. I don’t know why I think that. Maybe it’s because they wear the same undies? And sometimes when people talk about Pat Rafter I think of Pat Cash and think ‘Pat Cash started a charity for kids? Wow”.
It’s confusing having two tennis players called Pat! Especially when you consider that Pat is hardly anyone’s name. I feel I'm not giving Pat the respect he deserves. He was good at tennis and has a lovely beard and according to the internets his nickname is “Skunky”.
So from now on I’m going to try very hard to remember things about Pat Cash and not get him confused with anyone else.
What's that? Oh.

Gael Garcia Bernal

Researching for BWAB can sometimes be a tricky task.
When looking through pictures on the internets for beardies sometimes I get stumped. There are some men that are obviously better with a beard (see, BBWAB 20. No really, go and have another a look. It’s extraordinary. I’ll wait….. I know, right?) then there are the few that are inconclusive.
Sometimes it’s inconclusive because I think “Hmmm…I like the beard but I don’t know if I like the beard on him” and other times it’s inconclusive because I think “That man is just so incredibly good look that I want to get down on my knees and thank Christ Bale for giving me eyes that work”.
Gael Garcia Bernal is an example of the latter.
I can’t decide. So I will leave it up you to tell me what you think.
Just a tip – make sure that you really examine both photos very carefully. Take an extra long look at the eyes, the line of the nose, the lips and the jaw line. Really take it all in.
You’re welcome.

Liev Schreiber

Is Liev Schreiber good looking? I think he is when he has a beard. But then again, you may have picked up on the fact that I am just a tad partial to one of those.
Liev has certainly come a long way in recent times ie since Wolverine was released. Who would have thought that Cotton Weary from Scream would have been the grrrr-tastic Sabretooth? Not me. He was good though. Very good. Even if the writers did make up a whole lot of stuff about Wolverine’s back story. Before you say anything , I do understand that in fact everything about Wolverine is made up because he is not a real person. But there is still some history there that needs to be respected.
I shall not dwell. Back to Liev.

I think he looks like a perfectly nice man. He is being rained on in his non-beardy pic and he still manages to give us a bit of a grin. But happier is Liev with a beard. Sure it could be that he is warm and inside and has a nice scarf. But for the purposes of the study let's just say its the beard.

Props to Matt Stevo for the Liev suggestion! We were SO on the same page.

Joshua Jackson/Pacey Witter

Sing with me “I don’t want to wait, for our lives to be over. I want to know right now, what will it be? I don’t want to wait for our lives to be over. Will it be yes or will it be, sorry?”

Look everyone, it’s Pacey Witter and he’s all growed up!

This comparison is not really fair I guess. Joshua’s non-beardy pic is rather old and he has massive shoulder pads in his olive green (ick) jacket that make his head look stuck on. In his beardy pic he looks much more stylin and has also made you a cup of tea. How can you not say that he is better with a beard? He is actually rather delish and these days makes a rather lovely man-bag for Diane Kruger on her many red carpet jaunts.
Hmmm...that on sale box set of Dawson's at JB Hifi is looking pretty good right now.

Jason Lee

I love Jason Lee. Have done ever since “Chasing Amy”. I think that I have liked Jason Lee in just about everything I’ve seen him in – Kissing a Fool, Almost Famous, Dogma, Earl, Alvin and the Chipmunks.
So what is it that prevents me from thinking about Jason Lee as one of the great hot beardies of our time? It’s certainly not his ability to grow a beard – he looks like he could do that in an afternoon!
I think it probably has more to do with the fact that Tom Cruise got his Scientology hooks into him when they made “Vanilla Sky” together. It is very prejudice of me isn’t it? But I’m sorry. It’s like he’s been tainted with the crazy brush and no matter how good the beard or improved the eye-brow maintenance is, I just can’t get passed it.
That and he did call his son Pilot Inspektor. For reals.

But we’re not here to talk about all that. We are here to see the beard and say thanks.

Keanu Reeves

To be completely honest, I’ve never really been 100% hot on Keanu. Don’t get me wrong – he was in Point Break and will therefore always have a special place in my heart - but he never really had “it” for me. I think it was the constant look of “Huh?” on his face.

That was until – you guessed it. He went all beardy.

For me, Keanu is the champion of the patchy beard. I love a patchy beard. To all those boys out there who say “I can’t grow a beard. It’s all patchy”, I ask you to stop whining like little girls and look to Keanu. It can be done! He looks great...if still a little "Huh?"

Sawyer from Lost

I must say that I am very impressed with Lou-Lou Driscoll’s assistance with BWAB. Once again she has found a non-beardy pic for me. This time, Sawyer from Lost. The reason that I am so impressed is that Lou-Lou has voiced her “beard-fear” on more than one occasion and yet here she is still pitching in for the cause. Well done, Lou-Lou!
Ok – so back to Sawyer. I love Sawyer. I love 70s Sawyer with his funky glasses. I love jail-bird Sawyer. I love tree-chopping Sawyer. Lots of people do.

There is even a Sawyer nickname generator -

Apparently Sawyer would call me “Sheena” so you can too if you like. I barely recognised him as clean shaven and short haired. He looks a bit generic doesn’t he? Certainly not bad. But certainly no Sawyer.

Sayid from Lost

Firstly, I must give a huge shout out to Lou-Lou Driscoll for finding this pic of no beard-Sayid from Lost for me. Holla!
Secondly, is this not one of the most compelling pieces of scientific evidence so far? The man is hardly an uggo without the beard. But with the beard? Sweet Christ Bale he looks good! Torturously good. This pic could be the full stop to BWAB because it confirms the theory so convincingly. However, I think we need to be conclusive about this, so if I must. I will continue the research.

Christian Bale

Oh Christian Bale. Angry, surly, grumpy, ridiculously hot Christian Bale. He has played some of the greatest heroes of our time – John Connor, Batman, Jesus.
He has been super-skinny and super-buff and if you listened to that recording on You Tube he has also been super-cranky!
But as you can see by the above, to beard-up is divine. Christ Bale is my favourite. Look at how lovely he is?

Marat Safin

Marat Safin. His name sounds like a sigh, doesn’t it? So tall, so angry, so Russian. So tall. It was difficult to find pics of Saffy that didn’t have him on the court going “ARRRGHGHWWORROAAAAARRR!!!” with some crazy, angry face. Unfortunately, there are no pics of the time that he pulled his pants down at the linesperson. Oh Saffy. You are funny. But I think these two are pretty good. Obviously the one on the right is better.
In that one he has a beard.
You see how this works?

Sean William Scott

For this one I made up a song:
“Yes, yes. SWS.
You are one of the best.
With your beard, I confess.
So clearly I’m not much of a songwriter. However, Sean William Scott is a bit of a secret shame of mine. To put it more accurately, Stifler, is a bit of a secret shame of mine. People make comments about how disgusting Stifler is. Before today, I would agree while secretly swooning and hiding my face in shame. But no longer!
Oh the freedom I feel!

Johnny Depp

Johnny! You are the one confunder. Better with a beard? Better without a beard? I can’t tell! Here you are putting your so-good-looking-that-noone-can-make-a-judgement spanner in my BWAB works. Potentially destroying all my research! I’ve only ever been mad at you twice. Now and that time that you made me pay money to go and see Blow. That still stings, Johnny. You had a cushion up your jumper! But now, just like then I will forgive you. Because look at you.
How can I possibly stay mad?

Russell Brand

The first requested BWAB! I got a message saying “Do Russell Brand”. Am assuming that he was requesting Rusty to be BWAB-ed rather than just a general instruction in life? So Mihailo – this BWABs for you!
When I first saw the no-beard Rusty I though that it was Nelson Aspen – entertainment reporter on Sunrise. So that’s the only argument that I need to put forward really, isn’t it? That and the fact that Mr Bearded Brand appears to have magical powers that make very straight men fall in love with him. I agree that he has “it” and would dearly love for it to be true that he may star as Jack Sparrow’s bro in the next Pirates movie.
Hey Nelson – perhaps you can confirm those rumours for me?

Ryan Gosling

I know a handful of things about Ryan Gosling:
1) He used to be in the Mickey Mouse Club with JT
2) He was in “The Notebook”
3) He was romantically linked to Michelle Williams just after Heath died
4) His name is Gosling – haha!
5) He looks a whole lot better with a beard

Ryan Reynolds

When did Ryan Reynolds get hot? This seemed to have happened without my knowing. He used to be the tall, skinny Guy in “Two Guys a Girl and a Pizza Place” and then (according to IMDB) he played a character called “Hams” in an episode of “My Boys”. This is not a joke. Have you ever seen that show “My Boys”? It’s truly awful. Now he is Big Buff Guy in the likes of Blade Trinity and Wolverine.
He has also bagged Scarlett Johansson. All of which has happened since bearding.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Jensen Ackles

Jensen Ackles sure is good looking. But – without the beard I just think that he is a bit “Days of our Lives” good looking. Not that I would stop him from putting his name on my dance-card if he was beard-free. He most certainly is my favourite Winchester (for my money Sam totally overdoes the “clenchy-clenchy jaw” acting. It’s too distracting).

He does have a slight case of the “crazy-eyes” in his beardy pic. I think that that adds to the appeal.

I was quite disappointed to learn that the boys were recently in Sydney for a “Supernatural” convention. I actually found out about 5 days after the convention had been held. I then had to consider whether or not I was the type of person who goes to Sydney for “Supernatural” conventions and I decided that I probably wasn’t.

Joel Bowden

I never really paid much attention to Joel Bowden until he bearded up. No surprise there, really. I have to admit that I don’t really know that much about him other than the fact he has a good beard and plays for Richmond. I asked a Tigers fan if Joel Bowden was a good player and the response was that I wasn’t allowed to quote him on BWAB.
I think it was because he said "he has been a very good player over a long period of time. At the moment he is going ok - compared to the rest of the team who are playing like shizen - as you are well aware!" and probably didn't want that put on the internets. Oh. Whoops!

Justin Timberlake

Oh the things I do for BWAB. Trawling Google images for "Justin Timberlake beard" and "Justin Timberlake no beard" and "Justin Timberlake no pants" Hang on.
Anyhoo - it seems as tho JT has had some form of facial hair ever since he broke it off with Brits. It would hardly be fair to compare the 12 year old Justin to the grown up Justin you see here. So I have to compare Justin BWAB to Justin BWABB (Better with a Bigger Beard). Justin BWABB could be my most favourite Justin ever.

Chris Martin

I like to think that these pics were taken on the same day. The photographer said to Chris Martin "Great, Chris. Now beard!" and Sproing! Out it comes. What? Chris Martin could totally have special powers! Look at those eyes!

Seth Rogen

Am a bit over people calling Seth Rogen an unlikely leading man. There is nothing unlikely to me about this kid - and he is a kid, like 26 or something. He is hilariously funny, has curly hair and cool glasses. That's pretty much all you need to lead! Am a tad disappointed that his more polished look means we see less of his afro though.

Orlando Bloom

As you can see, Orlando Bloom is truly awful without a beard. I mean look at him. Those brown eyes, those defined cheekbones, the hint of dimple...hmm...what were we talking about? Oh yes. Well, obviously Orlando is equally as lovely with or without shirt, I mean beard. So why does he make it to BWAB? Just take a long hard look at those pictures. Now go and stand in the corner until you stop asking such silly questions.

Viggo Mortenson

Viggo goes from looking like he might murder us in our sleep to looking like he would save us all! So Jesuslike. If you could walk around looking like Hot Jesus, why wouldn't you? Particularly, when you look so creepy when you don't.

Matthew Fox

See makers of Lost! Matthew Foxy can grow a perfectly good beard himself. Please never give him that fake scary beard again. "Fake, scary beards" is another website.

Hugh Jackman

Hugh Jackman is not exactly bad without a beard, is he? But his beard makes him so manly. Ok, so perhaps it's not just the beard. Actually, there were plenty of headshot photos of Hugh with a beard...but look at that! And he's got a mattonee wife. Bless him.

Jake Gyllenhaal

Jake's stubble is good but his full, luxurious man beard is better. It draws the attention away from his big eye, small eye. Though, both the big one and the small one are quite nice.

Brett from Flight of the Conchords

Brett from Flight of the Conchords looks so much better with a beard. Then why so sad? I know, it's because of the hair helmet, right? Despite Jemaine's best efforts he can't be in BWAB until he beards up. Don't think i don't see you there!

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Daniel Vettori

Daniel Vettori was actually the inspiration for BWAB. There is no doubt that he was cute before but with the beard he just has people walking up to him on the street giving him trophies and telling him he is a winner! True story. A reason to watch cricket.